This makes the fifth time I've started to write a blog, deleted the first line, then walked away. It's really hard getting started again, especially after such a long time away, but once I start to write, the words flow out faster than I can keep up, which is a sure sign that this is where I should be.
A while back I deleted my blog, "Life in Queue," but suddenly logged in one day, saving It's life. All though I wanted to forget about my past, it's not the way to live life, at least for me. I believe that everything I have experienced in my past is an integral part of who I am today, for better or worse, and to try deleting any of it, would be cheating myself.
This past weekend I exported Chasing 10 and imported Life in Queue (or vice-versa). It took a long time for me to figure out that it was the right way for me to do things but once I knew, I knew. I didn't want to move forward feeling like I was still spending my life in a queue, marking time, so I had to figure out a way to be able to move forward without letting go of my past. Meshing the two blogs together really felt like the right solution; at "Chasing 10," I can continue to move forward, working toward goals, not perfection, but hold onto my past as well.
I'm at a place in my life again where I realize I need help to work on some of the things I have been going through for quite a while. I watch carefully for the warning signs of depression and when a friend says, "I'm worried about you," it's not something to take lightly, if standing on your own two feet is important.
So, here I go again. I had a phone consultation with a Counselor this past Friday, which brought to fruition, my need to seek counseling on a regular basis, at least for now. My first appointment with the Therapist I found is this Friday afternoon. I'm actually pretty excited...but I don't think I will tell this one that I drink wine. ;)