One of the first mistakes I've made over this last year is that I stopped listening to 96.1 FM; it's one of our local Top 40 radio stations that helps to keep me young. I have always preferred music to anything else and it sets the tone in my day, especially with an hour long commute to work. It keeps me upbeat or calm, inspired or lost in thought (not while driving of course). It gives me whatever I need and doesn't ask anything in return.
I've realized today that somewhere along the line I've lost my inspiration. After a great doctor's appointment for a condition I've had for 4.5 years, I am ready to move forward and get my life back on track. For as long as I've just mentioned, I've been trying to get a doctor to actually listen to what I was saying in regard to my pain, my pain in my ass. Yes my ass. My left buttock to be correct. It cramps after walking only a few steps and makes everyday routine living atrocious at times. For years the doctors have been trying to attribute it to my mess of a back, a back that doesn't really bother me.
No amount of pain medication for the pain in my ass has ever helped, so I just don't take it. I look perfectly healthy on the outside so no one really knows the amount of pain I go through on a daily basis. After seeing too many doctors to count, they have finally diagnosed me with Piriformis Syndrome, are giving me injections and prescribing physical therapy. The injections are giving me my life back. For information on Piriformis Syndrome, see below.
Suffering a recent Friend Divorce (not to be confused with "friendly divorce" as there was nothing friendly about it) I've realized that I am the only person who can truly make myself happy, but I do need some help in the process, including good friends with whom I can trust my thoughts, and who are willing to give me their time and insight. It's hard to find friends like that; if you do, hang onto them with all your might.
In the divorce, there will be no support; I got the kids and they don't want weekends. They got Barnes and I got Starbucks. They got freedom and I got therapy. The one good thing that did come from all of this was my new found drive to get my life back on track. I am resolved to healthy mind, body, and spirit.
I've already talked to my therapist and just the sound of her voice was reassuring; I'm looking forward to my new appointment, getting some support and delving into some more of my issues that have really come to a head. It's always good to have an unbiased ally even if you're paying for it. Besides, my therapist works on my terms which include: not prescribing meds and letting me drink wine.
So, goodbye thirty pounds I have been slogging around with for almost two years; it's time for you to go back to whence you came. Yoga, my stationary bike, and the ability to walk distances again are my three new best friends. We will talk daily.
I start teaching CCD at our local church in a few weeks, for the first time ever. Hard to believe that anyone is trusting me with the minds of anybody other than my own kids, but they are. I am looking forward to learning a lot from them, and achieving growth in my spiritual life, adding to my overall inner peace.
In two months I'm going to be fifty years old; I want my life to count for something, before my time is up. Not that it hasn't up until now but I've stagnated something terribly and I'm not going to let myself take it anymore. My mantra is and always will be, I am the most imperfect person you will ever know and if you can handle that, it's all you need for me to call you friend.
p.s. Don't even CONSIDER making comments about my painful tight ass.